opening 230 new locations
On Six TV Shows
Phak News is the proud recipient of this years
Peabody Award for Reporting Excellent. Our editorial
staff was presented this prestigious honor at a
ceremony held in the Rose Garden at the
White House in Washington D.C. on May 17th 2018.
The presenters and hosts of the ceremony were the
notable celebrity speakers Colin Kaepernick and
Phaknews mission is a non bias agency against bias,
uniformed acceptance of the truth by a paid for click
of news media.
If a Terrorist is supposed to Create Fear
Then isn't the Media a Terrorist? How
will it end?
Is It Just About Fake News?
By now we all know that The Onion is satire, right?
Satire is *not* fake news. It’s not even news. It’s
Besides The Onion, sites classified as satire include
The Borowtiz Report and us.blastingnews.com, the
latter which gets an additional tag of ‘unreliable’.
I think it’s important to understand - and the
OpenSources.co web site explanations help to make
this clear - that there are important and meaningful
differences between category tags like ‘fake’,
‘conspiracy’, ‘political’,’clickbait’, and ‘credible’.
Those explanations are worth reading and
considering as you look at their database.
So, despite the endless stream of material coming
from Trump and his administration, I suspect most of
us would agree that satire isn’t the problem with the
news these days.
What I think the big problem we’re having right now
with news and so-called news is two-fold.
If you link to this site there is warning at the top of
the page like ZEROHEDGE, so far, that I have seen. It
WARNING: THIS MAY NOT BE A RELIABLE SOURCE .
( EXTREME BIAS )
Shares their view on Drudge, which has over
10 billion followers annually labeled as conservative.
According to Quantcast, the site has more than three
million page visits per day. According to Mark
Halperin, "Drudge's coverage affects the media's
political coverage", effectively steering the media's
political coverage towards what Halperin calls "the
most salacious aspects of American politics". In The
Way To Win, a book written by Halperin and John
Harris, Drudge is called "the Walter Cronkite of his
era". Democratic Party strategist Chris Lehane says
"phones start ringing" whenever Drudge breaks a
story, and Mark McKinnon, a former media advisor to
George W. Bush, said that he checked the site 30–40
times per day.
A left-leaning parody site called Drudge
Retort you will notice that there is no such
warning at the top of the page header, as in the
1998 as "a send-up of Mr. Drudge's breathless
style".According to online analytics data for
April 2010 from the Newspaper Marketing Agency,
the Drudge Report
is the number one site referrer for all online
UK commercial newspaper websites.
Maxine Waters scheduled for Octorectumy
What If All the Cheap Stuff Goes Away?
Here Today Guam Tommorrow
Hillary Fundraiser Offers Thoughts On Her Upcoming Book Tour: "Shut The F**k Up And Go Away!"
Doctor Oz appointed as
for CBD's medicinal uses
Facebook founder and owner of Instagram,
Mark Zuckerberg,today supposedly told a small group of Saudi and South American investors that the Instragram Platform has been over run by European and middle-eastern escort services. They are posting as fitness and or yoga enthusiast. Zuckerberg, never one to waste an opportunity, wants the escorts to operate as contractors working within the FaceBook Organization.
Zuckerberg wants to offer the escorts safe havens to operate and market their wares.
Mr. Zuckerberg wants the escorts to be paid in BitCoin and work on a
60 / 40 split within the FaceBook Organization. No more free advertising Zuckerberg said to the group of eager investors.
Unconfirmed say he told them that he wants to build out this platform on a worldwide bases and offer the escorts health benefits and a privately managed pension and all access to the Instagram services.
Over 600 ladies have responded positively to his Instagram comment within the first hour of the post.
Mark expects that thousands more will respond before the end of the day.
The project is operating under the name 'BookFace.' and obvious play on the FaceBook franchise. Zuckerberg said he would like to become the world's largest escort service and is seeking management advice from Dennis Hoff of the 'Moon lite Bunny Ranch.'
This is a Phaknews exclusive.
New Medical Evidence Now Proves that the Television Celebrity is the product of a medical experiment conducted at the Tuskegee Institute in 1957. Tuskegee gained much notoriety for their research on the effects of Syphilis on the untreated Negro Male. In newly published article in the distinguished 'The Journal of Cloning Research.'
Tuskegee Institute did experiments on multiple birth cloning. Harvey, baby number 4, survived along with 5 other clones which clearly explains why he can be seen on every TV show at once. Steve Harvey has been spotted at as many as 5 different locations at the same time explaining this phenomenon.
Dr.OZ Today Dr. Oz discusses CBD as the new miracle medicine There have been reports in the New England Journal of medicine that CBD may help with erectile dysfunction and possibly penis enlargement. Personally after reading these reports I did a little research of my own. For the last three weeks I have been applying a CBD based balm regularly to my genitalia in hopes of a positive result and a larger penis..After the Three week period it appeared to be working quite well
until I realized the CBD had actually made my hand smaller. Dr.Oz Conducted his research with Donald Trump as they are seen comparing hand sizes.
Elon Loves to Get Hyper-Looped on HighRize. Our satirical writing staff
of journalist point out that unconfirmed Sources close Mr. Musk say that Elon Musk
Owes much of his success and his creativity
To the fact that each day he follows his morning routine.
Each morning at 6:30 am he has a Starbucks Venti Sea Salt Carmel Machiato and a hit of Highrize Dragonfish Farms-
Sativa Red Congolese Medical Marijuana.
Musk whose real name
Mohammad E-Lon Mosque
did not return our calls.The use of the name Highrize was used without their written consent.
Elon Loves to Get
The Summer Solstice at Stonehenge
There is unsubstantiated dialogue among unknown sources All Windows Programs share all information with DARPA along with FaceBook.
At this point of the conversation treat this missive as 'Satire.' Thank you.
Also rumored are Google and Verizon just to mention a few.
PN news wire
The distinguished 'Nation Board of Cambridge Universities Department of Meteorology' has advised the cancellation of The annual Celebration of the Stonehenge Sunrise Solstice indefinitely due to
This is Phaknews and if you believe it you're an idiot.
Subject: Interesting Story
Here's what it looks like when all the pieces are sewn together
It smells like conspiracy and treason. Everyone needs to read this. Slowly, and patiently, because it's very important......
From 2001 to 2005 there was an ongoing investigation into the Clinton Foundation.
A Grand Jury had been impanelled.
Governments from around the world had donated to the Charity.
Yet, from 2001 to 2003 none of those Donations to the Clinton Foundation were declared. Now you would think that an honest investigator would be able to figure this out.
Look who took over this investigation in 2005: None other than James Comey; Coincidence? Guess who was transferred into the Internal Revenue Service to run the Tax Exemption Branch of the IRS? None other than, Lois Be on The Look Out (BOLO) Lerner. Isn't that interesting?
But this is all just a series of strange coincidences, right?
Guess who ran the Tax Division inside the Department of Injustice from 2001 to 2005?
No other than the Assistant Attorney General of the United States,
Guess who was the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation during this time frame?
Another coincidence (just an anomaly in statistics and chances), but it was Robert Mueller.
What do all four casting characters have in common?
They all were briefed and/or were front-line investigators into the Clinton Foundation Investigation.
Another coincidence, right?
Fast forward to 2009....
James Comey leaves the Justice Department to go and cash-in at Lockheed Martin.
Hillary Clinton is running the State Department, official government business, on her own personal email server.
The Uranium One issue comes to the attention of the Hillary.
Like all good public servants do, supposedly looking out for Americas best interest, she decides to support the decision and approve the sale of 20% of US Uranium to no other than, the Russians.
Now you would think that this is a fairly straight up deal, except it wasnt, America got absolutely nothing out of it.
However, prior to the sales approval, no other than Bill Clinton goes to Moscow, gets paid 500K for a one hour speech; then meets with Vladimir Putin at his home for a few hours.
Ok, no big deal right? Well, not so fast, the FBI had a mole inside the money laundering and bribery scheme.
Robert Mueller was the FBI Director during this time frame? Yep, He even delivered a Uranium Sample to Moscow in 2009.
Who was handling that case within the Justice Department out of the US Attorneys Office in Maryland?
None other than, Rod Rosenstein. And what happened to the informant?
The Department of Justice placed a GAG order on him and threatened to lock him up if he spoke out about it.
How does 20% of the most strategic asset of the United States of America end up in Russian hands when the FBI has an informant, a mole providing inside information to the FBI on the criminal enterprise?
Very soon after; the sale was approved!~145 million dollars in donations made their way into the Clinton Foundation from entities directly connected to the Uranium One deal.
Guess who was still at the Internal Revenue Service working the Charitable Division? None other than, - Lois Lerner.
Ok, thats all just another series of coincidences, nothing to see here, right?
Lets fast forward to 2015.
Due to a series of tragic events in Benghazi and after the 9 investigations the House, Senate and at State Department, Trey Gowdy who was running the 10th investigation as Chairman of the Select Committee on Benghazi discovers that the Hillary ran the State Department on an unclassified, unauthorized, outlaw personal email server.He also discovered that none of those emails had been turned over when she departed her Public Service as Secretary of State which was required by law. He also discovered that there was Top Secret information contained within her personally archived email.
Sparing you the State Departments cover up, the nostrums they floated, the delay tactics that were employed and the outright lies that were spewed forth from the necks of the Kerry State Department, we shall leave it with this
they did everything humanly possible to cover for Hillary. .
Now this is amazing, guess who became FBI Director in 2013? None other than James Comey; who secured 17 no bid contracts for his employer (Lockheed Martin) with the State Department and was rewarded with a six million dollar thank you present when he departed his employer? Amazing how all those no-bids just went right through at State, huh?
Now he is the FBI Director in charge of the Clinton Email Investigation after of course his FBI Investigates the Lois Lerner Matter at the Internal Revenue Service and he exonerates her. Nope.... couldnt find any crimes there.
In April 2016, James Comey drafts an exoneration letter of Hillary Rodham Clinton, meanwhile the DOJ is handing out immunity deals like candy.They didnt even convene a Grand Jury!
Like a lightning bolt of statistical impossibility, like a miracle from God himself, like the true Gangsta Comey is, James steps out into the cameras of an awaiting press conference on July the 8th of 2016, and exonerates the Hillary from any wrongdoing.
Do you see the pattern?
It goes on and on, Rosenstein becomes Asst. Attorney General,Comey gets fired based upon a letter by Rosenstein, Comey leaks government information to the press, Mueller is assigned to the Russian Investigation sham by Rosenstein to provide cover for decades of malfeasance within the FBI and DOJ and the story continues.
FISA Abuse, political espionage..... pick a crime, any crime, chances are...... this group and a few others did it:
All the same players.
All compromised and conflicted.
All working fervently to NOT go to jail themselves
All connected in one way or another to the Clinton's.
They are like battery acid; they corrode and corrupt everything they touch.How many lives have these two destroyed?
As of this writing, the Clinton Foundation, in its 20+ years of operation of being the largest International Charity Fraud in the history of mankind, has never been audited by the Internal Revenue Service.
Let us not forget that Comey's brother works for DLA Piper, the law firm that does the Clinton Foundation's taxes.
The person that is the common denominator to all the crimes above and still doing her evil escape legal maneuvers at the top of the 3 Letter USA Agencies?
Yep, that would be Hillary R. Clinton.
Now who is LISA BARSOOMIAN? Lets learn a little about Mrs. Lisa H. Barsoomians background.
Lisa H. Barsoomian, an Attorney that graduated from Georgetown Law, is a protégé of James Comey and Robert Mueller.
Barsoomian, with her boss R. Craig Lawrence, represented Bill Clinton in 1998.
Lawrence also represented:
Robert Mueller three times;
James Comey five times;
Barack Obama 45 times;
Kathleen Sebelius 56 times;
Bill Clinton 40 times; and
Hillary Clinton 17 times.
Between 1998 and 2017, Barsoomian herself represented the FBI at least five times.
You may be saying to yourself, OK, who cares? Who cares about the work history of this Barsoomian woman?
Apparently, someone does, because someone out there cares so much that theyve purged all Barsoomian court documents for her Clinton representation in Hamburg vs. Clinton in 1998 and its appeal in 1999 from the DC District and Appeals Court dockets (?). Someone out there cares so much that even the internet has been purged of all information pertaining to Barsoomian.
Historically, this indicates that the individual is a protected CIA operative. Additionally, Lisa Barsoomian has specialized in opposing Freedom of Information Act requests on behalf of the intelligence community. Although Barsoomian has been involved in hundreds of cases representing the DC Office of the US Attorney, her email address is Lisa Barsoomian at NIH.gov. The NIH stands for National Institutes of Health. This is a tactic routinely used by the CIA to protect an operative by using another government organization to shield their activities.
Its a cover, so big deal right? What does one more attorney with ties to the US intelligence community really matter?
It deals with Trump and his recent tariffs on Chinese steel and aluminum imports, the border wall, DACA, everything coming out of California, the Uni-party unrelenting opposition to President Trump, the Clapper leaks, the Comey leaks, Attorney General Jeff Sessions recusal and subsequent 14 month nap with occasional forays into the marijuana legalization mix
. and last but not least Muellers never-ending investigation into collusion between the Trump team and-the Russians.
Why does Barsoomian, CIA operative, merit any mention?
She is Assistant Attorney General Rod Rosensteins WIFE!
Phak News Or Real?
Meet Lisa H Barsoomian – The Wife of Who?
Hope this is completely PHAKNEWS
Who is Q/Anon?
Friday September 7 2918
August 23 2018
This page is SATIRE. Phak News If you believe it I am sorry that you are a gullible idiot
A Man named Harold, and a president named Barack.
This pretty much summarizes how Obama/Biden and most liberals view the
Harold was a bright child. He grew up in America. He went to school
and had a bright future ahead of him. Harold was full of life but was
cut short in a violent moment. While few people had ever heard of
Harold before his death, many did afterward And in death, something
very shocking happened. What was so shocking, especially when it is
compared to the death of someone else recently in the news?
Harold was Harold Greene, Major General, United States Army. On Aug. 5,
2014, Major General Greene was killed by a Taliban terrorist.
He was returned to America with full military honors.
It has been a tradition that the president attends the funeral of
general and flag officers killed in the line of duty.
Richard Nixon attended the funeral of a major general killed in Vietnam
and George W. Bush attended the funeral of Lieutenant General Timothy
Maude, who was killed in the 9/11 attacks.
While Major General Greene was buried, Barack Obama was golfing. The
vice president wasn't there either. Neither was the secretary of
Flags were not even lowered half-mast.
Four days after Harold Greene gave his life for America, Michael Brown
was killed in Ferguson, Missouri.
Brown was at best a young thug. In the minutes before his death, he
committed a robbery at a local convenience store. According to other
reports, Brown struck Officer Darren Wilson and shattered his orbital
bone. Obama sent a three-person delegation to Brown's funeral!
Neither Obama nor Biden would attend the funeral of the highest ranking
military officer killed in the line of duty since 9/11, yet he sent a
delegation to the funeral of a thug.
When Margaret Thatcher, one of America's staunchest allies and Ronald
Reagan's partner in bringing down Soviet communism, died, Obama sent
only a small low-level delegation to her funeral. The snub was not
missed by the British.
When Chris Kyle, the most lethal American sniper in history was
murdered, there was no expression of sympathy from the White House.
But when Whitney Houston died from drug overdose, Obama/Biden
administration ordered all flags be flown at half-mast.
There was no White House delegation at the funeral of an American hero.
American heroes die and Obama goes to the golf course.
A thug dies and he gets a White House delegation.
No wonder most "REAL" Americans hold Obama in such contempt, especially
members of our Military.
And Biden is now expounding on how great the Obama/Biden administration
Satire, Something that is completely made up and without merit.
It is humor. Not to be believed. Uses pieces of current events and
fictionalizes with a satirical narrative.
If you believe 'PHAK NEWS" your an idiot.
by bzzzzy October 14, 2020
Is this Gordon's Pizza?
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
Do you want your usual, sir?
My usual? You know me?
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
OK! That’s what I want ...
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
What? I detest vegetable!
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
How the hell do you know!
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
I bought more from another drugstore.
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
I paid in cash.
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
I have other sources of cash.
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
WHAT THE HELL!
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
By Not Thoroughly Reading APP Terms of Service, What Have A Given Up? Nothing is Free Especially Socialism.
KENDRA FIGURED IT OUT