PHAK NEWS
Gloria Allred To Represent
Kim Jong-un in a discrimination Suit
Unconfirmed sources says that Gloria Allred seeks 
$250,000,000,000 in damages from the United States for their unfair treatment of Mr.un for his desire to turn The United States into ash through a purposely set series of wildfires.
She also stated that Kim was Asian and was calling on all liberal hate groups to
stage a protest for this injustice.
 
Hillary Fundraiser Offers Thoughts On Her Upcoming Book Tour: "Shut The F**k Up And Go Away!"
After days of the media reporting on leaked excerpts from Hillary's upcoming book entitled "What Happened," it now seems that some Democrats are growing just as weary of Hillary's perpetual excuses and endless clamoring for the spotlight as their colleagues on the right side of the aisle.  According to The Hill, one rather blunt former Hillary fundraiser said that he wished "she’d just shut the f**k up and go away.”
Equifax Announces Cybersecurity Incident Involving Consumer Information
Company to Offer Free Identity Theft Protection and Credit File Monitoring to All U.S. Consumers. Equifax for one year. Equifax will protect your credit information as they have proved their ability  to so in the past.  The breach only affected 143 million U.S. Consumers or half of the U.S. population. Equifax would like you submit your last name and the last 6 digits of your SSN, there are only 9, and enroll in their TrustedID Premier program. Why wasn't the 'Trusted ID Premier program operating correctly to prevent this incident last week
Here Today ..
Guam Tomorrow
 
NORTH Korean tyrant Kim Jong-un might launch another missile TOMORROW to celebrate the anniversary of the founding of the brutal regime.
President of China, Xi Jinping, has assured the U.S. their largest global trading partner and largest debt holder, that if North Korean fires a missile that causes any destruction to any of it's trading partners, the Chinese Military will overthrow North Korea and take over the country and retain the terrority as war reparations.
Which would solve many of Trump's problems.
Jennifer Lawrence: actor and Climate change expert, 'Mother Nature's Rage' Because Trump
 
Lawrence has been outspoken about President Trump before he was even president. Back in 2015, she cried that it would be “the end of the world” if he took office, and told Trump “f**k you” during a 2016 televised talk show appearance. After he won the election, Lawrence penned an open letter to young women on the feminist side Broadly, that the election should “enrage them.”

“[L]ike Hillary, you can still be an inspiration and get important things done. Do not let this defeat you — let this enrage you! Let it motivate you! Let this be the fire you didn’t have before. If you are an immigrant, if you are a person of color, if you are LGBTQ+, if you are a woman — don’t be afraid, be loud!” she wrote.
MORE
Zero  
Hedge
On a long enough timeline
the survival rate for
everyone drops to zero
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PHAKNEWS BULLETIN
V.F. Hive on Cheddar
 
Fake news is here forever, study says
 
Interview with Reptilian female Lacerta (With Clear Audio and Subtitles)
The Lacerta Files
 
 
According to the report, Columbus once punished a man found guilty of stealing corn by having his ears and nose cut off and then selling him into slavery. Testimony recorded in the report claims that Columbus congratulated his brother Bartolomeo on "defending the family" when the latter ordered a woman paraded naked through the streets and then had her tongue cut out for suggesting that Columbus was of lowly birth.[84] The document also describes how Columbus put down native unrest and revolt; he first ordered a brutal crackdown in which many natives were killed and then paraded their dismembered bodies through the streets in an attempt to discourage further rebellion.[85] "Columbus's government was characterised by a form of tyranny," Consuelo Varela, a Spanish historian who has seen the document, told journalists.[84] "Even those who loved him had to admit the atrocities that had taken place."[84] click on picture to read more
 
Prepare for a Chinese Maxi-devaluation

Jim Rickards
August 2015, China engineered a sudden shock devaluation of the yuan. The dollar gained 3% against the yuan in two days as China devalued.

The results were disastrous.

U.S. stocks fell 11% in a few weeks. There was a real threat of global financial contagion and a full-blown liquidity crisis. A crisis was averted by Fed jawboning, and a decision to put off the “liftoff” in U.S. interest rates from September 2015 to the following December.
 
If a Terrorist is supposed to Create Fear
Then isn't the Media a Terrorist? How will it end?
Trump Sends Second Aircraft Carrier To Korean Peninsula With 7,500 Marines Aboard
 
THE 9 FAKEST FAKE-NEWS CHECKERS
A novel orvinol analog, BU08028, as a safe opioid analgesic without abuse liability in primates
BU08028
The era of easily faked, AI-generated photos is quickly emerging
This is Phaknews and if you believe it you're an idiot
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
O.J. Simpson signed multimillion dollar deal with the E Network to join the 'Kardashian's' Reality Series.
Unidentified Sources say that O.J. Simpson has been rumored to be Khloe Kardashians real father and They both have consented to DNA tests to be supervised by, none other than, Maury " I am not the father,!" Povich.
Expected to air in 2018.

THE CLINTON FOUNDATION TO DONATE OVER 50 MILLION DOLLARS FOR AIDE TO ' ONWARD TOGETHER' AS HILLARY TRIES TO SECURE HER BID FOR PRESIDENT IN  2020 .UNKNOWN SOURCES SAY.
THE NEWS IS SO DEPRESSING ON TV  I HAVE FOUND MYSELF, IN MOMENTS OF WEAKNESS, WATCHING 'KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS.'
 
 
Angry Protesters to Give the Chicken the Bird
The residents of Westlake Village, a small suburban community in Southern California, are set to demonstrate against the Real Estate sale of the former K-Mart Building and mall area to Tyson Foods. Tyson reported that the 55,000 square foot facility will enable them to process more than 4 million hens a month and save the company millions of dollars in handling and shipping costs while providing over 800 new low paying  government subsidized jobs. Local business's leaders oppose the plants opening and plan to demonstrate starting this Saturday at the proposed new Tyson Site.
Unconfirmed sources mentioned that a certain local ministry may White Knight the property as a local homeless shelter and Food Bank.
WAR ON OPIOIDS
 
 
“Salvator Mundi,”
“Salvator Mundi” was being sold by Russian billionaire businessman Dmitry Rybolobev and was only estimated to sell for $100 million. Unconfirmed sources assured that the Secret buyer was actually Christie's itself in an effort you try to spark some life into the slumping art marker.
   Sources say that Robert Mueller has been appointed to head up a full scale investigation into  Dmitry Ryobolobev's sale to see if it was linked to the Trump Presidency.
Sells for  a Record $450 Million in Bitcoin Christie's Fake Auction
Calavia, the Equestrian Extravaganza,
Forced to Close
Camarillo Health and Safety inspector, Francisco Heredura, cited that 'Cavalia,'was serving horse meat in the Children's Hot-Dogs.
The show was closed immediately after the Sunday 2:00 pm matinee.
Philipp Gerkuf , a spoke for the Montreal based production, said Similar accusations have plagued Cavalia for a number of years.
more developing.
unidentified sources say.
.
The statement  above is only meant as humor, absolutely horseshit.
Fantastic horseman.performance, seen it twice, always excellent.
   Click here to see their schedule
 
 
 
Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Ceremony To Be Discontinued
     New Yorkers were stunned by the news after the Christmas Tree Lighting Wednesday evening that the tradition will be discontinued.       The Mayor of New York
Bill de Blasio announced that the Christmas tree ceremony offends many of the other religious cultures in the New York city and the outcry has been over whelming.
Religious Cleric Imam Maulama Akonjee who was shot to death in Queens last August prompted the Mayor, in an event to bring harmony the to city, to suspended the lighting until further notice.
      The mayor also stated that Saint Patrick's Cathedral, located near the center, will be demolished and replaced by the building of the 'Warren Wilhelm Jr. Center for Religious Tolerance,' in memory of the slain cleric.
       The Tree lights will be not be turned on tomorrow evening.
unidentified sources say.
       Construction to begin in the Spring of 2018 
Donald Trump just sent out a tweet on Twitter that the Moon Landing was a Fake and filmed in a soundstage in Burbank, California. He further stated, "That everyone knows that a flag won't flag without air." putting to rest the 48 year old hoax.
Mr. Trump also made reference to the fact that the first man, supposedly, to land on the moon was Neil Armstrong. He notes that in the hoax 'Neil A. spelt backwards is 'Alien.
This hoax was done by the same advertising agency for the French water manufacter 'Evian water. Spelt backwards is Naïve. Proof enough for me
.
MORE
 
MORE
The Shed at Dulwich’ was London’s top-rated restaurant. Just one problem
The U.S. Media Suffered Its Most Humiliating Debacle in Ages and Now Refuses All Transparency Over What Happened
Patient Zero for Fake News
New Medical Evidence Now Proves that the Television Celebrity is the product of a medical experiment conducted at the Tuskegee Institute in 1957. Tuskegee gained much notoriety for their research on the effects of Syphilis on the untreated Negro Male. In newly published article in the distinguished 'The Journal of Cloning Research.'
Tuskegee Institute did experiments on multiple birth cloning. Harvey, baby number 4, survived along with 5 other clones which clearly explains why he can be seen on every TV show at once. Steve Harvey has been spotted at as many as 5 different locations at the same time explaining this phenamon
Steve Harvey On Six Shows ?
 
MORE DEVELOPING

Elon Loves to Get Hyper-Looped on HighRize

Unknown sources say that Elon Musk
Owes much of his success and his creativity
To the fact that each day he follows his morning routine.
Each morning at  6:30 am he has a ‘Starbucks Venti Sea Salt Carmel
Machiato and a hit of ‘Highrize’ Dragonfish Farms-
Sativa Red Congolese Medical Marijuana.
Musk whose real name “Mohammad E-Lon Mosque”
did not return our calls




















.















indy100
"Pumping Up with Hans & Franz Winklevoss"
The Classical 'Pump You Up'' SNL sketch
is set to return this season. The comedy favorite will feature America's favorite twins,
Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss as the memorable Hanz and Franz.
The original sketch featured Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon and first aired in 1987.
The idea for the characters of Hans and Franz came in 1987 in a Des Moines, Iowa hotel room while Nealon was watching an Arnold Schwarzenegger television interview during Nealon's and Carvey's first comedy tour.The first sketch in which the characters appear occurred during the season premiere of the 13th season.
Tune in this season and don't be a 'Girlie man.'


 
 
Is It Just About Fake News?
By now we all know that The Onion is satire, right?
Satire is *not* fake news. It’s not even news. It’s satire.
Besides The Onion, sites classified as satire include The Borowtiz Report and us.blastingnews.com, the latter which gets an additional tag of ‘unreliable’.
I think it’s important to understand – and the OpenSources.co web site explanations help to make this clear – that there are important and meaningful differences between category tags like ‘fake’, ‘conspiracy’, ‘political’,’clickbait’, and ‘credible’.
Those explanations are worth reading and considering as you look at their database.
So, despite the endless stream of material coming from Trump and his administration, I suspect most of us would agree that satire isn’t the problem with the news these days.
What I think the big problem we’re having right now with news and so-called news is two-fold.
Just Nominated 
BEST SATIRE NEWS SITE

Elon Musk is hiring writers from The Onion for a secret project. The Tesla CEO says humor is the next frontier, and we don’t think he’s joking.
"OUR LIBERTY DEPENDS ON FREEDOM OF THE PRESS. AND THAT CANNOT BE LIMITED WITHOUT BEING LOST."
- THOMAS JEFFERSON
The ‘ Pizza Brain.’

You are in a conversation with one or more people when
The word, ‘PIZZA, is mentioned in a sentence.
That word makes you recall many times you have
experienced PIZZA.
Good pizza   Bad Pizza and all the other stuff it brings up
from the long deep well of forgotten thoughts. But PIZZA
refreshed a lot of memories at once.
That Neuron or whatever does what it does and some
chemical is sent along a wire, so to speak, to somewhere
else and you react. Probably either to the Best Pizza event or
to the worst Pizza story.
By the time you are being flooded with all these emotions etc.
The conversation has continued, although it may only be a second
or two, you have been lost to the next moment by still being in the
prior moment.
As we get older we have many more experiences to draw memories
and emotions from.
The 3 ½ year old kid on TV who can name all 48 states
appears to be some genius. He has very little experience or emotions to
draw upon.
When asked, ‘What is the capitol of ‘Omaha.? he answers immediately
as he has no ‘Omaha’ clutter to distract his attention from answering.

You hear ‘Omaha’ and you say, “ I wish I was from Omaha.”
When is the best time of year, do they have pizza, do they speak English?

So, don’t let the ‘Pizza Brain.’  bother you in the
slightest. Just smile and say I am sorry I was momentarily distracted
by the thought of the time I got the greatest
Pizza in Omaha.
Now go have some Pizza
in Omaha.
Pizza brain can be caused by a glance at any object, color, sound or smell etc. that triggers a memory.

Brain Hack # 1.When you are trying to find your car keys remember that your glasses are on your forehead.
This Coming Easter Pageant

From time to time whether TV or whatever
there is some proud parent showing off
their prodigy’s skills.
The 3 ½ year old can name all 48 states.
‘What’s the capitol of Omaha?’
The child answers correctly, do you?
It appears the child to be some ‘Wunderkind.’
The child has been prodded for 6 months or  more
to learn this repetition.
By this child’s new found brilliance, while gender searching, they are treated with many educational advantages,
included them learning the name of the street at the next corner as his whole schooling process at this time has taught him a bunch of facts and not much more. Example the ability to think on own.

      
  UCLA Medical School of Medicine

      In 2003 UCLA conducted the, now famous, “ Squirrel School Paradox”

     In the forest there are many different animals of all color and sizes,
To make a long story short,
Researchers realize that all species are different.
Shape, size, mating-rituals food they may eat or kill.
Each has its different levels of strength and power in the animal
kingdom. Specially adapted skills for survival and procreation.
Survival of the species.

     The Now famous “ Squirrel Paradox”
Gives insight to the failing of  the current educational system we must learn most of the same things or fail. I learned a lot of great useless minutia.  Yep l learned all about Moses’ Ark.

The study’s conclusion in 2011, at their annual meeting in Prague,on October
!8th, summarizes their findings.
The Squirrel should go to squirrel school because he is best suited for
that task, climbing.
The Hedgehog who, through natural selection, is not completely adapted To climbing trees. The conclusion, Mr. Hedgehog should go to cave building
school as it was better adapted for that for its survival.
Mr. Bird, Misses Rabbit, Freddy Frog all were different and had skills they adapted
especially for their survival and comfort in any given environment.
Land, sea, air, other dimensions, if any exist.
     The finding of ‘The Squirrel Paradox,’ inspired the music department at UCLA’s
Center for Handicapped and disabled Children.Long time music mentor and teacher, Miss Abigail Potter, to instantly recognize this pattern in her classes. Most all the children suffering from everything from Speech impediments to hearing loss, all loved music. Miss Potter presented her observations to the UCLA Center where a 3 year project was granted  to Miss Potter and a staff.

     The children did react differently to the music presented. A child with one kind of handicap might hate Rock Music,
another might love Jazz and hate hip-hop.
They were all different, except for one universal thread,
They all loved to hum and some loved  to sing, along with the music.
The ‘Squirrel Paradox’ proves that you should pursue what you love to do.
The Center’s Dietician. Miss Potter’s niece, once removed and former class-mate, Ophelia Bush, also noticed another
familiarity that was commonly shared was the children’s fondness for Apples and oddly enough for the diet soft-drink ‘TAB.’ She concluded that children were maybe bonding on this
diet as a way of forming unity and survival or a  possible addiction to artificial sweeteners.
      
    Again, to make a long story short, The UCLA Center grew their music department to include all the special needs children. After about 6 months they performed, as a choir, to the faculty and parents of the children at UCLA Famous Royce Hall.
    As one LA based reporter, whose  child was in the performance, wrote, “ It was like hearing music from Heaven."The story was reported on the local TV news-stations, where it caught the eye of one of Ellen DeGeneres executive producers and Ellen had the children appear on her show where they were immediately being identified as, "Angels from Heaven."

     This story circulated like wild fire in the religious community.
The group has made several stage and television appearances.The station manager at WFQ in Salt Lake City took a taping of the children’s appearance to the music conductor, a childhood friend, at The Church of Ladder Day Saints, where he shared his moving experience. The Church immediately engaged the choir to perform at this coming years Easter Day Ceremony at the landmark Mormon Temple.
    This Easter Sunday, April 1st, you can watch them perform live on TBN Easter Special.
The Children’s choir will be performing as, 'The Mormon Tab and Apple Choir.'
Nebraska is the capitol of ‘Omaha,
I studied that at Squirrel School on April
Fools Day.

     
    

 
Jonah and the Big Fish
As for Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale's belly, so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.
Every language has its own collection of wise sayings. They offer advice about how to live and also transfer some underlying ideas, principles and values of a given culture / society. These sayings are called idioms- or proverbs if they are longer. These combinations of words have (rarely complete sentences) a figurative meaning meaning, they basically work with pictures.

Elvis has left the building
The show has come to an end. It's all over.

A hot potato
speak of an issue,mostly current,  which many people are talking about and which is usually disputed

Caught in a pickle
Why do we say' in a pickle'?
If you are in a pickle you are in a difficult position or have a problem to which no easy answer can be found.

The word ‘pickle’ comes from the Dutch word ‘pekel’, meaning ‘something piquant’, and originally referred to a spiced, salted vinegar that was used as a preservative.

In the seventeenth century, vegetables like cucumbers or gherkins that were preserved took the name.

The in difficulty’meaning of the expression, alludes to the idea of being as mixed up and disoriented as the pickled vegetables in the jar.

Example: "I've been in such a pickle since I saw you last that I really I need your help.."
"What better heralding, as a divinely sent messenger to Nineveh, could Jonah have had, than to be thrown up out of the mouth of a great fish, in the presence of witnesses, say on the coast of Phoenicia, where the fish-god was a favorite object of worship? Such an incident would have inevitably aroused the mercurial nature of Oriental observers, so that a multitude would be ready to follow the seemingly new avatar of the fish-god, proclaiming the story of his uprising from the sea, as he went on his mission to the city where the fish-god had its very centre of worship” (H. Clay Trumbull, “Jonah in Nineveh.” Journal of Biblical Literature, Vol. 2, No.1, 1892, p. 56).

"Jesus spoke of Jonah’s ordeal as a real historical event. He used it as a typological metaphor for His own crucifixion and resurrection, itself a miraculous event. Matthew quoted Jesus as saying, “For just as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the sea creature, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. The men of Nineveh will stand up with this generation at the judgment, and will condemn it because they repented at the preaching of Jonah; and behold, Someone greater than Jonah is here” (Matthew 12:40-41; cf. Luke 11:29-30, 32).

The evidence is such that any Christian should have confidence to believe and any skeptic should think twice before dismissing Jonah as a fairy tale.

But could it be possible that Jonah and his community used the idiom "Big Fish"
in a similar manner that we use the Idiom "Caught in a Pickle?"

Was Jonah in a "Big Fish" or was he in a 'Pickle?
'
Another Bible Misspell:
Celebrate not celibate.
Respect not Fear



 
How old is the earth according to the Bible?”
  
or “How old is the earth?” This is the only Old Testament chronological Bible Ttmeline that shows the Biblical inerrancy of over 1,300 dated events in Scripture. Bible timeline charts show the age of earth from the seven days of Creation Week in 4115 BC, including the Adam and Eve story, to the New Testament public life of Jesus, the life of John the Baptist, the Passover Crucifixion and the Resurrection in 30 AD. This Bible timeline accurately answers the question, “How old is the earth according to the Bible?”, by dating the Creation of Adam and Eve, Noah’s Ark, Joseph in Egypt, the Exodus, Kings of Israel, the Babylonian captivity, and the 70 Weeks of Daniel.

The Creation of Adam and Eve story during Creation Week is calculated to have begun on October 14 – Creation Day One in 4115 BC on a Jewish-Hebrew 364-Day “sacred” calendar. This 364-day Bible timeline calendar is called “sacred” because it is totally derived from dates in the Masoretic text of Scripture. This timeline of the Bible 364-Day calendar can be connected to currently used Julian, Gregorian, and and Hebrew calendar dates showing the Biblical inerrancy of the dated years in Scripture.

The Bible timeline, real age of the earth is 6,117 solar years in October of 2017 AD according to the numbered dates in the Biblical text. The dated events in the timeline of the Bible and the Exact Years Chart found in this research clearly states there are 4,096 solar years from Creation Week in 4101 BC until the Birth of Jesus in 5 BC. This Bible timeline chronology website and the book, Earth’s Sacred Calendar, are currently the only sources of over 1,300 dated events based solely on the Masoretic text of Scripture. The Bible chronology dates available on this web site were calculated by Jim Liles over the past ten plus years using only the numbered dates given in the New King James Version of the MacArthur Study Bible. Now isn't that good to know.
a

So now as far as the Earth's age, am I now caught in a pickle or do I mean Big fish?


Inspired from a decades old conversation with
The Honorable Rev. Patrick Berryhill 
Senior moments
EDITORIAL SECTION
The evidence is such that any Christian should have confidence to believe and any skeptic should think twice before dismissing Jonah as a fairy tale.

The above paragraph, mentioned earlier, basically states that  the Tale of the big fish is to be believed at the same time the bible says the Earth is 6117 solar years old but I have hear rumors that it could possibly be much older               
  



Thank You Wikipedia














.
 
Siegfield and Roy at the
Mirage
     At one time Caesar's Palace was our destination while in Las Vegas. My wife and I along with my brother and sister-in-law were all together having a great time many years ago.
     The night of our visit we purchased, what were supposed, to be, what 'I was told were good tickets. When we were in the line to show our tickets to the person at the gate I made a  crack about seeing Segfield and Roy to which the attendant  replied,
"It's Seigfried not Segfield. Thought she was going to go ballistic.
It was done on purpose.
       We show our tickets to the usher and she escorts to our seats. We walked into the theater and were told to make an immediate left-hand turn.Our seats were in a very opulent booth in the rear row.
The waitress took our drink order and assured us that these were in fact very good seats for the performance. When the server departed to get our drinks we were suddenly approached by a very pretty photographer wondering if she could help capture this event for posterity. I then asked in confidence if these good seats they seem a little far back from the stage then she smiled and an assured us that they were in fact great seats.
        It is Saturday night, Las Vegas, Siggy
and Roy are to open at any minute. The music starts I again ask myself, are we being taken for a ride on these ticket's? There appeared to be seats much closer to the stage and so much closer to the action.
I was very envious of a particular up front section paralleling the stage. The stage was in the shape of a giant letter 'B.'
inside there were two cut outs sections  of the giant 'B' were what appeared to be the best seats in the house. I raised no further fuss and  just proceeded to order multiple cocktails and was a little miffed at our "great seats".
       The lights go up and the pagentery begins. From the right side facing the stage a parade of beautiful animals make their appearance slowly walking themselves across the stage and the dancers were dancing up a storm then the elephants parade  across the stage. The music played and animals seem to be following  their planned performance. All appears to be a spectacular evening. It appeared the all the ladies who were sitting in the giant 'B' were exquisitely  dressed and perfectly made up for the evening.
      It was Saturday Night at The Mirage in Las Vegas. Seigfried and Roy,one of Las Vegas's premier show attractions had just begun. The dancers were dancing their hearts out, then as one of the elephants was walking across the stage I noticed a goldish colored liquid appearing to be dripping from somewhere near the elephant.
I disregarded it at first then it happened again only a little more of the gold liquid appeared as the elephants made their second walk around the sacred 'B'.section.
All of a sudden an over-sized Pachyderm
raises up on it's hind-legs and completely eliminates every bit of liquid and bodily waste on to the stage from about 6 or 7 feet in the air directly on the stage next too all the beautiful people. All the people in the proximately were immediately,no chance to duck, just splattered with the equivalent
of 2 twenty gallon trash cans filled with excrement. The back part of the stage was
was soaked in yellow liquid and all the dancers on stage know, 'the show must go on' as they splashed and slipped and slid  on  very wet stage. The woman were shrieking in disgust as they were covered in elephant feces. Their cocktails were instantly watered-down along with all prospects of any sort of a miracle except to carry their drenched bodies back to the room for much needed bathing. I always felt really sorry the customers who were staying at another hotel away from the Mirage and had to plead for someone to let them into their cab covered in caca.
       After the night's event we walked from the Mirage, over the bridge, to Caesars Palace via the Forum Shoppes. A covered mall adjoining Caesar's which is packed with multiple floors of  the highest of the highest end shops. While strolling back to Caesar's we stop at our once favorite Italian restaurant, now closed, 'Bertolini's'..
       Bertolini's  was located near the fountain with the horses, very pretty structure. Once seated I believe we all ordered their famously delicious 'Cappuccino crème brulee..While the server was entering our dessert and drink orders we noticed the table was covered with a white  butcher type paper and they had little buckets full of canyons. The four of us  while waiting for our desserts started drawing pictures on the white paper table cloth.
I started to draw to picture of an elephant reared on its hide legs relieving its self. When the waiter came back to the table and said, "I see you saw Segfield and Roy as this had obviously occurred on other occasions.

That story is 100% true!.
The following may or not be
.
There has been a long circulating rumor, in some of the ' In the know' Las Vegas crowd, that were at the performance the evening that Roy Horn was mauled by the tiger, that it was not, I repeat not a tiger that nearly killed Roy but a rather large woman who was sitting in the front row wearing a large newly gifted raccoon fur coat, a large blonde wig and a large orange purse, that attacked Roy immediately after 'Bimba'' the Elephant' sprayed her and her wedding party with copious amounts of
… you get the picture...only a rumor
.
There was also a rumor that a lady did in fact stand up during the performance and frightened the tiger. The tiger in turn was trying to protect Roy and grab him by the neck and tried to drag Roy safely off the stage.
Heart warming  inspirational journey
JONAH AND THE BIG FISH
Nothing is wrong or new with Phak News, you have been lied to all your life.....
Just ask the tooth fairy or better yet...…Santa Claus, that was fun while it lasted.

Truly inspirational.......... says
Rachel Maddow
Television commentator MSNBC
This Coming Easter Sunday Pageant
What Happiness Looks Like
HAPPINESS
IS THE ONLY OPTION
Unless you make peace with your past you will have no future.
Breathe...Relax...Live in the now.
 
Time is invisible and
life can only be enjoyed in the present moment.
Think about it.
If you are  worried about the future that is anxiety.
If you are living in the past that is depression.
You were always waiting for this moment to arrive
 

 
 
News has a one minute attention span
The Era of Fake Video Begins
The digital manipulation of video may make the current era of “fake news” seem quaint.
Sinclair attacks CNN with video alleging ‘hypocrisy’
in ‘fake news’ debate
 
 
Dr.OZ 
Today Dr. Oz discusses CBD as the new miracle medicine
There have been reports in the New England Journal of medicine that CBD may help with erectile dysfunction and possibly penis enlargement. Personally after reading these reports I did a little research of my own. For the last three weeks I have been applying a CBD based balm regularly to my genitalia in hopes of a positive result and a larger penis..After the Three week period it appeared to be working quite well
until I realized the CBD had actually made my hand smaller.
The LGBTQ community Being sued for Word-Jacking
 
A federal suit has been filed today in the prestigious, Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit, by Lexi-free.
Lexi-free, a recently incorporated California
company which is an activist group headed by
Sir James Quinn. Sir Quinn is the head of the English and Literary Departments at Cambridge University. Known by his colleagues as Sir Q.
He has unified a contingency of fellow lexicographers the stop the LGBTQ community from secretly changing the meaning of once happy or ordinary words.The HRC, the Human Rights Campaign on June 3rd 2016 Officially adopted the use of "LGBTQ'" to reflect diversity of there own community. Sir Q's group of fellow followers contend that HRC and others have Word-Jacked
several once everyday common words in the English language. 
Jacking is a term quite commonly used in the LBGTQ community, meaning to Jack or steal off others. Quinn case stands on the merit that words such as gay or questioning once had their own identities in the English culture.
The word gay identifies with the twentieth century definition as meaning happy, free in spirit,
fun loving, at one with the world. Lexi-free contends that HRC and LGBTQ organizations are manipulating the liberal media with more LBGTQ normalcy by making it appear as an ordinary way of life, it is but not fully integrated into all of society. The liberal Hollywood media and motion picture and television industries are featuring more and more LBGTQ presence in a growing number of shows. It is now common to see same gender kissing and fondly on Network TV, not to mention the sometimes torrid scenes on the cable channels.
Quinn contends that the word gay was jacked
and was never meant to mean homosexual and the  word questioning was a nice replacement for
the word queer.
Gay which once meant happy now represents  someone who has same gender sex
and questioning  meant you are looking for an answer. The questioning component of LGBTQ
replaces the word queer which carried with it a certain stigmatization usually not thought of as a person with identity issues.
We hear the word Bi-Sexual,the stigma and
hypocrisy there is that it is mostly frowned on by the heterosexual male community,while the same
group, are more than likely to fully approves of lesbian sex as a turn on. The woman in this survey, funded by the lesbian dating site, 'Pink Sofa'
responded with an 89% approval of lesbian sex
and in regard to their view on male homosexuality,
most all did not care but thought there was a real waste of talent.
The letter ''T'' represents the transsexual community. This group was born with an out of balance genome. We are born half male half female and nature does not always divide
the hormone levels equally. We are all human but that does not mean we are all the same. One person may seem very masculine or another as feminine
but mostly somewhere in between. A person born of female gender may have a hormone system  that is not compatible with their sexual identity or vice versa. Be happy that everyone is different because if we were all the same is would make for a very boring world. Accept diversity and live your own life and let the other persons live theirs in total acceptance on their own merits, not what a stigmatized society views as correct and religiously tolerated.
Lexi-free's suit which is expected to begin on or around Monday, July 16th.
Lexi-free says they will drop their $50 million suit only if HRC un-adopts these words and returns them to their original definitions which include


 
 
hopeful, optimistic, rosy, sanguine
animated, chirpy, jaunty, lilting, lively, perky, sprightful, sprightly, vivacious
carefree, careless, cavalier, devil-may-care, easygoing, happy-go-lucky, insouciant, lighthearted, unconcerned
boon, gleeful, jocund, jolly, jovial, merry, mirthful blissful, delighted, glad, gratified, happy, joyful, joyous, pleased, satisfied, tickled beaming, grinning, laughing and smiling. 
Also included is the letter 'Q' for questioning instead of the word 'Queer.'
Now does the word 'Questioning suppose to imply if one questions something it is to
mean that they are 'Queer? Personally I have questioned many things through out my existence and have never had a same sex experience but thanks to 'Word-Jacking' I must be, by their definition, a member of their community. So please LGBTQ Community would you kindly quit "Jacking-off with our words.
            Question everything


Let yourself be sad
We’ve become accustomed to suppressing emotions perceived as negative such as sorrow and pain. Whether we’ve lost our jobs, loved ones, or any other case that has caused us a heavy feeling – we can often feel expected to recover from the heartbreak and return to our normal lives quickly. The mistake is that we make ourselves meet these impossible expectations and prevent the tears or the sense of pain from breaking out. That feeling continues to exist in you and only becomes worse and more harmful if you try to lock it within you.
Therefore, it is important that you express your feelings fully, whether positive or negative, and even give yourself a period of time to sink into and experience them in their entirety. Turn emotional recognition into a habit, so that once you begin to feel sad, you’ll be able to clearly tell yourself, "I feel sad" and from then on you will be able to give into this feeling and freedom to experience it in all of you. Remember, however, that the most important thing is not to get sucked into depression and turn yourself into a victim, but to feel the sensation within you, to give it room to seep in, and let it go when the time is right.
Before You Tell Me What You "Know," Tell Me Your Sources
Powerful tools for the
next era of news.
Earworms
 
A.A.A.D.D. - KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!


Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. 

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
On the table and take out the garbage first...

But then I think,
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
And see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Diet Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
But first I need to push the Diet Coke aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Diet Coke is getting warm,
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the
Diet Coke,
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Diet Coke on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter , 
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to
watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the
kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where
it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of
Diet Coke sitting on the counter,
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did
with the car keys. 
Then, when I try to figure out why
nothing got done today, 
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it, but
first I'll check my e-mail...

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet,
your day is coming!
P.S.  I don't remember who sent it to me, so if it was you, I'm sorry

RE: Exercise
       I get plenty looking for my car kyes
If I posted this already, I'm sorry
I Hate These references about our Senior Citizens well-being  
Why because it's Fake news
I have a very complicated benefits question.

Dear Sir,

I have a very complicated benefits question.

Many years ago, I married a widow out of love who had an 18 year old daughter.

After the wedding, my father, a widower, came to visit a number of times, and he fell in love with my step daughter.

My father eventually married her without my authorization.

As a result my step-daughter became my step mother and my father became my son in law.

My father's wife (also my step daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step daughter's mother.

This boy is also my brother, as the son of my father.

As you can see, my wife became a grandmother, because she is the mother of my father's wife.

Therefore it appears that I am also my wife's grandchild.

A short time after these events, my wife gave birth to a son, who became my father's brother-in-law, the step-son of my father's wife, and my uncle.

My son is also my step mother's brother, and through my step-mother, my wife has become a grandmother and I have become my own grandfather.

In light of the above mentioned, I would like to know the following:

Does my son, who is also my uncle, my father's son-in-law and my step mother's brother fulfil the requirements for receiving childcare benefits?

Sincerely yours,

Mohammed Abu Laden Habib

THE ANSWER:

Of course, you qualify Mohammed! I have arranged to start mailing the checks to all of you just as soon as you arrive here in California.

Yours faithfully,

Jerry Brown, Governor

Justify was Outed After Winning the Preakness as being a transgelding.

.
Control the Words, Control the Culture
From: Dr. Alh. Usman T. Ibrahim

To: usmantib@mlinks.net

Attention:

Are you aware that United Nations and World Organization Committee has forwarded your payment file to this office on Wednesday 02/05/2018 to compensate you with US$8,000,000.00 being one of the SCAM VICTIM on their list? 

Meanwhile, there is a problem here  right now because the  i n f o r m a t i o n  we have on our system is different from what we received from the authorities.

To avoid scam or wrong payment  I want you to re-confirm to us your correct PERSONAL information and BANK DETAILS because we have just 3 working days to finalize your payment..


Dr. Alh. Usman T. Ibrahim.







WARNING
SERIOUSLY
as of 12/21/2018 still no reply

This is NOT FAKE News
or some paranoid conspiracy rant it is an conservation about one of our most used household and businesses appliances and how it can and does effect our lives
This will be a continuing story on internet safety.  
What you give up when you download a free APP. 
How safe am I from e mail scams.
You IP is your ID
and other related comments.
How Safe is your inbox on your PC?
 

Usman T. Ibrahim          usmantib@mlinks.net
Notication    
 
Fri 5/4/2018 7:07 PM
I received this fraud e mail in my in private OUTLOOK OFFICE 365 mail box.
I also use TrendMicro and Windows Defender and Surfeasy VPN.
How did this scam get on my server along with whatever else? When this vendors sell me security for my devices who else is getting what, and for how much and what is happening to my data?
So starts the dialog
MORE LATER
Scam E mail received May 4 2018
Dear Beneficiary,

This notification message is from the Federal Reserve Bank Dallas,Your name (Name withheld) is enlisted among the beneficiary whose fund was approved for payment by the Board and Governors of Federal Reserve Bank, and we have been waiting for you to contact us to claim your funds worth $56 Million dollar. To our surprise, one Mrs. Brenda Miller came forward for the fund, that you asked her to claim the fund on your behalf with documentary evidence which we are not sure of it source,this is why we decided to contact you to confirm to us if you actually sent her (Mrs Brenda Miller) to claim your funds.

She said, you instructed her that the fund should be transfer to the below account detail,but because of the name on the account, we have to confirm.

Bank name : Heritage Oaks
Bank Address : 545 Twelfth St, Paso Robles, California 93448 Phone Number: 1(805)239-5200 Account number: 001453521
Routing: 122239982
Swiftcode: HEOAUS61
Beneficiary name: Brenda Miller

Most importantly, confirm to us urgently if you gave permission to Mrs Brenda Miller to claim your fund on your behalf and should in case you did not authorize her, then you will have to stop every communication with impersonators and their cohorts, because they are trying to divert your fund to themselves. She tried so hard to change the fund ownership to her name but permission was not granted until we hear from you.

We await your prompt response,

Ellen Ochoa
Federal Reserve System
2200 N Pearl St, Dallas, TX 75201, USA                 
The address is valid

ochoaellen@protonmail.com

              
Scam E mail June 16 2018
Re: Notification message from Federal Reserve Bank
Ellen Ochoa <ellenochoa@fedreserve.gov>
https://www.dallasfed.org/fed/contact.cfm
I forwarded this e mail to 3 members on 
the Dallas Feds Media in their site.
Dears Sirs

This is a scam using your Address and the name The Federal Reserve Bank I received this fraud e mail in my in private OUTLOOK 365 mail box.
I also use TrendMicro and Windows Defender and Surfeasy VPN.
Microsoft Windows 10 updates current
Hope no one falls for this.
Regards


P.S.
IF this is real
Thank Brenda Miller and have her forward my money in small unmarked bills.

-----Original Message-----
From: Ellen Ochoa <ellenochoa@fedreserve.gov>
Sent: Saturday, June 16, 2018 7:57 PM
To: xxxxxx.com
Subject: Re: Notification message from Federal Reserve Bank

Dear Beneficiary,

This notification message is from the Federal Reserve Bank Dallas,Your name (Name withheld) is enlisted among the beneficiary whose fund was approved for payment by the Board and Governors of Federal Reserve Bank, and we have been waiting for you to contact us -___________________

see  above
jennifer.chamberlain@dal.frb.org'
'james.hoard@dal.frb.org'
'alexander.johnson@dal.frb.org
It will be interesting to see what the follow up will be if any.


NO FOLLOW UP AS OF July13, 2018, or September 28, 2018

Hillary fundraises off border 'humanitarian crisis'
 
    # METOO
The end of due process
EVEN MORE PHAKER NEWS
More Satirical Bull shit, clear enough?
 
 
Anal sex causing an outbreak of anal births reported
John Hopkins-Sibley Hospital unknown sources say...



#METOO
marie skou
þ

@marie_skou
Jul 15
More
It's not consent if you drug me

It's not consent if you coerce me

It's not consent if you force me

It's not consent if you make me afraid to say no

Consent is based on my choices.

#MeToo

25 replies 162 retweets 491 likes
Reply 25   Retweet 162   Like 491
#MeToo
on Twitter

Stodgy Winter


@StodgyWinter4
15h15 hours ago
More
I was asked today if I hate women. Um NO, I AM A WOMAN! What I hate is vindictive little girls (they are not mature enough to be called women!) who use the #MeToo movement for their own personal agenda to ruin an ex. With this they are taking away from the true victims/survivors.

8 replies 15 retweets 68 likes
Reply 8   Retweet 15   Like 68

marie skou
þ

@marie_skou
Jul 15
More
In case you were wondering, women are afraid to report violence, because they know exactly how the abuser will retaliate against them

He told them.

#domesticviolence #MeToo

11 replies 43 retweets 136 likes
Reply 11   Retweet 43   Like 136
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